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imagine i am 24 married to rami or fadi or even moussa imagine i wear the big white dress imagine i am 28 with two children imagine i am searching but not finding

MY MOTHER SAYS THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED IF WE STAYED IN PALESTINE

i.
imagine i am 24 married to rami or fadi or even moussa
imagine i wear the big white dress
imagine i am 28 with two children
imagine i am searching but not finding

maybe i am 18 in college in ramallah
i meet rima & rauda & huda
we drink taybeh beer in the gardens
we smoke apple argilas & dance into the morning

or i am 32 married & infertile
i translate arabic to english for american tourists
i name things unspeakable
i draw down the blinds of myself

ii.
“i guess we’ll never know” i say & the scene freezes
laurence fishburne as edward said emerges from the pantry
“the Orient becomes a living tableau of queerness” he says

“take the red pill & i’ll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes”
i take the red pill on the plane with leila khaled
we have facial reconstructions once a week

today i am um kulthum & she is abdel nasser
we land the plane in the lap of the sphinx
darwish & kanafani are still alive & fairuz sings “al bosta”

iii.
luti…….ma’bun…….mukkhannath
suhaqqiya…….mutathakera…….hasan subi
naqis…….shaatha…….mutahowileen

iv.
love lace your thighs in mine
together we are weaving a time warp
another dimension
where i always find you

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