in the beginning
God felt a little cute
so in His image
He created man
tho He saw that He
might delete later
what good is it to
write about loving
a man when you
have to shake out
the past’s pockets
all this making
a show of memory
what kind of
person does that
whenever a girl
changes a contact
in her phone to
that’s the kind of
love I’d write about
not the trying-to-
transaction kind
you like that don’t
you I knew a
man once who
had a tattoo of
Jesus crying
bloody tears on his
arm when we had
sex Jesus shook
his head no well
there are many
ways to love
like Britney that
class act she went
high & shaved her
head for our sins girl
get it but Justin
he was still too
much & for no
good reason!
where I come from
you get knocked
out cold for that
I guess I know
a little thing or two
about a man’s
ego how it under-
estimates soul
not every gesture is
a metaphor for how
much the world
respects you it
wasn’t supposed
to be like this
now all our loose
ends kneel down
like an unbalanced
equation inside
of me not that I
blame him I too
know the agony
of not being able to
get inside of some-
thing that you feel
drawn by God
to call your home
I could’ve lived a
whole lifetime in
the way he used to
cherish me how ex-
pensive the hunger
was in his eyes how
it made me feel so
try telling him that
anytime you start
dating a new man
you should have to
thank all his exes
for the moisturizer
he uses how he
dresses himself how
he goes down & o!
my loneliness
was killing me
aaaand I
I think there’s love
I don’t think it’s what
we thought it was
I still believe

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RACHELLE TOARMINO is from Niagara Falls, New York. She is the author of the chapbook series of paparazzi poems, Graphic (Ghost City Press, 2017-18), and the chapbook of embroidery poems, Personal & Generic (PressBoardPress, 2016). She is the cofounder and editor in chief of Peach Mag, where she is currently at work editing With You: Withdrawn Poetry of the #MeToo Movement. Learn more about her writing and editing projects at